Let's talk about being underpaid.

If the title made you flinch, hang with me. It can be awkward to talk about money for some folks, and I get that. There are plenty of cultures where it’s taboo to talk about money. If you grow up without money, then your family normally talks about saving more than they do growing, if they talk about it at all. I’ve met plenty of folks whose tech money was life-changing for them, and then they had no idea how to manage it all and were embarrassed to ask or overwhelmed with figuring out where to start. Money is just not uncomfortable for me, so I’m always willing to tell people that I like money and that it’s okay if you do, too. I like my job a lot, and I really enjoy getting paid as a primary part of that. It’s also okay to enjoy your job and love what you do AND also need or want to be paid more.

When I was a newly-graduated, newly-engaged, primary breadwinner, my friend Hirsch told me what he was making at Microsoft. I knew I had accepted a lower salary to go to Google’s experimental Engineering Residency program. I had a contract for a single year and would need to go back through hiring committee to stay with the company beyond that. The offer meant my now-husband and I would be in the same city, in a tech hub, and it was a shot a permanent role at Google. Jonathan and I had determined the chance at building a life in Seattle was worth the risk of leaving our lives in Cleveland.

The problem was that my estimations of just how much of a salary trade-off I was making were off by about $60,000. I was grateful for his sharing, and given my life circumstances, I probably would have still taken Google’s offer. But man, it was a tough fact to have hanging over me my first year at Google while I was trying to prove that I deserved a spot there beyond the first year.

When I did successfully convert to a permanent role, a stock grant would make up for the difference… if I stayed another 4 years for it all to vest. Whether I acknowledged it at the time or not, that $60k was the price I was paying to get my future spouse and I in the same city, both pursuing careers at the top of our respective fields, and a chance to have a long-term job at Google that I might not have otherwise received. My first raise after my permanent contract made it feel worth it in the end.

Underrepresented groups especially are bombarded with with messaging that being underpaid might be their fault. They’re told how they don’t negotiate. They don’t advocate. They don’t apply for a promotion or jobs if they don’t meet every requirement. It often ignores the higher weight these groups have to give to factors like having a healthy and welcoming environments given the scarcity of those spaces for them. It ignores the disproportionate burden that comes from a society that demands their energy elsewhere first: often as primary caretakers for the young or the elderly in their family. A society that, in general, undervalues work that’s historically been female-coded: teaching, organizing, and care-taking. The pandemic especially put a spotlight on the inequities here. When people ask me if I think they’re underpaid, this is normally the example I start with. What’s it costing you to find out? What trade-offs are you making, explicitly or implicitly, to go explore that answer?

Look Around

Do you know what made me feel comfortable and confident with what I was paid after that raise? Again: other folks around me sharing their salaries. There was an internal voluntary spreadsheet where you could share your salary. I was able to use it to get a feel for where I stood based on my job title and experience. I contributed my own data every year as a way to pay forward some of the reassurance.

If your company doesn’t have a share-my-salary initiative, levels.fyi has one for the tech world. Now like any good scientist, keep in mind that there is no data validation here. People can (and probably do) lie, but I find overwhelmingly they don’t, just like in the real world. You’re not landing a rocket on the moon here; you’re looking for a rough signal on whether you’re on the lower end of the total compensation market or not. This is usually more than sufficient, and it’s especially helpful if you’re considering switching roles within the industry (say from software engineer to a product manager or vice versa).

There have been a ton of tools in the tech industry for looking at pay. If you’re not in tech, more and more states in the US are requiring pay transparency by listing it in the job description. The UK requires an annual pay gap report for companies over a certain size. Even if you aren’t looking for a new job, I really recommend regularly signing up for a LinkedIn job alert for your current position and title and a second one that you imagine is one level up from where you are now. Every once in a while, take a look at the alerts coming through and compare the numbers to what you make now. This can also be incredibly reassuring when the numbers are consistently lower than what you are currently making.

Know Your Priorities

Different kinds of compensation might mean more to you at different phases of your life depending on your current financial needs and your risk tolerance. For example: in tech, it’s common to have three pay types: salary, stock, and bonus. When I was a new grad, end-of-year bonuses were a big deal because it helped me put a significant dent in my student loans. When we were buying our house, we sold stock to cover the down payment. There were times when I was the sole breadwinner in our home, so a reliable and consistently high salary was more important. You should know what kinds of compensation matter most to you, and take that into account when assessing whether you’re going to ask or go search for higher compensation.

Salary is what you get for showing up every day. It’s also the only compensation that’s really guaranteed. Bonuses are often performance based, and they may not always be in your control to influence if that performance is recognized. Stock prices can fluctuate and you’re at the mercy of the market. Maybe there are other parts of “compensation”: like perks, benefits, healthcare (especially in the US), work flexibility, mission/purpose, growth opportunities etc. Get out a spreadsheet and make a list of all of your compensation in your current role. Wherever possible, even if it’s a fuzzy estimate, put a number on how much you value that part of your role. For example, when I jumped jobs I axed my commute by going fully remote, which got me 5 extra hours a week with my daughter. I calculated what we were paying for a nanny to cover those hours, the commuting costs like the gas and the car mileage and maintenance. I then forced myself to put an actual dollar amount on how much I valued that extra time with her. What would I be willing to pay in my current role to get those 5 hours back each week?

I strongly recommend getting a fiduciary financial advisor. They can calibrate your risk here and help make sure your risks match your actions. For example, when weighing offers, you might be tempted by a larger stock package that often assumes you will stay at the job for 4+ years. If you don’t stay that long, you leave that money on the table. If you know you’re only going to commit to 2 years, you might want to try to negotiate other forms of compensation instead. You might want to stay at your current gig longer to make another vest date. Knowing what compensation types are most important to you helps you decide when it’s worth exploring another role.

Get a Price

You can do your research and learn that there are higher paying roles available, but you have to be willing to go interview for those, land them, negotiate them, and at some point, accept them. You have to take the theoretical price to a price that’s a concrete offer that someone is willing to pay for your skills. A key part of any negotiation is being willing to walk away. When I was working with other new grads who weren’t satisfied with their pay, none of them wanted to go interview. Interviewing was emotionally and physically taxing. They often didn’t want to risk the feeling of rejection, despite the fact that a failed interview wouldn’t have changed their lives at all. They still had jobs that provided a pay check. They wanted to be paid more in the jobs they already had.

Most of them didn’t or wouldn’t take an approach that would help them in a negotiation. “I’d like to get paid more without any leverage” did not get them very far. More on how that went for them next time.